(drums and pincushion)
Dave Drums Diablo (real name Aristotle Sebastopol Windjammer-Forsythe) was born September 21st 1666 during the Great Fire of London prompting his first words, “Is this pie supposed to be that hot?”
An ugly child, (his father once said, “Get that monkey out of the pram, it’ll scare the bairn!”), he first played drums (biscuit tins) when he was eight, but preferred thinking of other instruments like guitars and piano. Dave didn’t like hitting black keys on the piano in his house as he thought it was racial. But in later years, he realised Racial was the girl he fancied out of “Friends”. Couldn’t play guitar very well as couldn’t work out which end you had to suck.
At age 11, passed his 11+ exam for Grammar School and was 24th out of 2000 who took it. Promptly arranged for the first 23 to be extradited as serial killers, so then became most intelligent kid in Gateshead. Got 50p (ten bob) off neighbour as reward and Dave put together first drum kit soon after - a red snare drum on a stand for £4 paid for from his paper round – from which he never got in till midnight - mainly because his paper round covered Edinburgh to Cornwall - a cracked 10” Krut cymbal; a blue Salvation Army bass drum bigger than he was and a council boiler for a floor tom tom. He immediately got a job with Napoleon in 1815 at The Battle Of Waterloo which he thought was an Abba tribute concert. Later, he got the drummer’s job at The Bastille in France (1817) but was sacked for playing “Wipe Out” too quickly causing the executioner to chop off his own head by mistake.
Never knew that his granddad actually played drums in the Co-Op band which would have saved more pocket money on the drum lessons he went to. From “Buddy Rich’s Snare Drum Rudiments” book (17/6), he studied triplets, single and double rolls, paradiddles, flams, drags and ratamacues and whilst he hadn’t managed to play them very well, by the end of the first week, he could at least spell them.
He bought a Paul McCartney Hofner Violin bass for £20 – didn’t have a clue so sold it for £50. Today is worth £2000. Dave therefore failed Business Man Of The Year competition again (It is a little known fact that he was the only student at Gateshead Grammar School, to be successfully awarded “Advanced Mathematics and Physics Failed With Distinction”.
First gig ever was with The Renders - band ages 12,13,14,15 and 16 got set up at Saltwell Social Club ready to play till Concert Chairman kicked them out for being underage. The short pants were a giveaway. Had to take all gear home by bus and pram. (Diablo recently appeared at Saltwell Club and the same almost happened again as they didn’t know anything by Barry Manilow or Herman’s Hermits but at least they wore long pants and the pram has been replaced by a Citroen Picasso.) Played 200 gigs or so with a variety of totally unsuccessful bands like The Brew, The Olmpics, (could never spell Olympics) Keeble Manor (though did have a manager and a van) and more which he’s trying to forget, before very successful KIP here in North East England. Playing about 20 gigs a month in the ‘70s (not in their ‘70s) actually recorded an album they’d forgotten about which is why their competition at the time – Lindisfarne, John Miles Set, Geordie (with AC/DC’s Brian Johnson) and more, got hit records and KIP didn’t.
The last 15 years have been amazingly busy with Dave’s policy of never saying no to bands or fig rolls, and he has played with, guested with or borrowed money from The Johnny Baboon Band, The Folk Pistols, Colt 45, Jack O’ Ryan Band, Tyneside Surfers, Fed-Ex, The Rattlesnakes, Section Three, The Five Ronnies, Borderland and 200 bands without any name at all, who formed and broke up in the middle of the same song.
In 2005, Dave realised he had a son, which had explained why he could never get in the shower when he wanted. And in the midst of cries of enthusiasm like “Tidy Your Room”, DIABLO was born. DIABLO - great lads, great fun, smashing musicians, and to play with your own son in a group (other than Alcoholics Anonymous) is out of this world brilliant.
DAVE'S GIG HIGHLIGHTS
Played in bands supporting ‘70s bands like Slade, Pickettywitch, Mud, Equals and more.
Played a gig on a farm playing in what was previously a manure slurry and a cesspit.
Supporting act to a fish & chip wagon. The chips came on first at 9.00 and the band went on at 10.00. The fish & chip wagon had a bigger crowd.
At Newbrough Hall, band was so loud, ears were buzzing. The next day, Dave answered the phone six times and it wasn’t even ringing.
LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT DAVE
Has B.A. degree in I.T and has taught over thousand people how to use a computer. He now emails them all with Diablo gigs.
He’s a permanent optimist. He started drumming at the bottom of the ladder and has successfully climbed to abject poverty, so it's not all bad.
He is in fact a full blooded Cheyenne Indian from Calcutta on his great granny’s side named Him With Speed of Deer, Cunning Of Elk, Wind Of Bison and Brain Of Concrete.
Became India's first Karaoke Champion using the alias Gerrupta Singh.
Dave suffers from hay fever most years as does Davy. Sneezing consecutively 27 times is his current record – much in demand for blowing out candles on birthday cakes.
Wanted to join the SAS but too deaf – he broke into a zoo and rescued six ostriches.
Life! After a heart attack in 2003 and a scare in 2005 – every day is just fab!
Diablo fans – amazing they come to see the band so much and have as much fun as Diablo do.
Davy’s singing and his songs; Anth’s guitar playing and Frank’s bass playing.
“Gandy Dancer” a magazine on rock instrumental music he’s been publishing for 40 years
Decent, loyal, loving and caring people who make life good for others, all others are w*nk*rs
Sandy Nelson – the greatest and most neglected drummer in rock & roll.
The Ventures – same but with guitars
Matchbox labels (but doesn’t smoke) has been collecting them for years – sad but true.
Ginger snaps, plain chocolate digestives and Jennifer Love Hewitt in that order
Old horror movies – the classic ones and the downright terrible that he buys from Poundland on an all too regular basis just to annoy the family.
Trees, shrubs and fresh air
Keeping fit by walking, doing his garden, chasing Diablo’s girl fans (although by the time he’s caught them, he’s totally forgotten why he was chasing them in the first place) and drumming.
Totally in love with wife Marie – the only girl for him – apart from Toni, Lindsay, Julie, Emma, Cheryl, Caroline, Michelle, Sue, Louise, Carolyn, Sharon, Helen, Kelly, Maria, Laura, Charlotte, Sarah, Amy, Joanne, Vikki, Denise...; the female cast of Emmerdale, the Dagenham Girls Choir and Lara who reads the weather forecast on TV’s Channel Five.
His uncanny resemblance to Tom Cruise
Scary breasts – like Jordan’s - people (like Dave) of 5’ 5” could be easily blinded
Arrogance, cruelty to animals or people, uncaring characters and hypocrites
Timewasters and mushy peas
Politicians – see mushy peas
Big Brother, Little Brother, Love island, I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and reality TV shows. However he has seen them all.
Booking tickets for arena events hence the following email to Davy Diablo:
“I have now been on the phone for 36 hours booking your tickets for The Stereophonics and have grown a seven foot beard to match your Mother’s. This message is being sent posthumously. I have pressed so many buttons on the pre-recorded message that there are no numbers left on the dial. My fingers have shrunk to the size of peanuts and my phone bill has entered the Guinness Book Of Records this week at No. 4. The total cost for two tickets is £85,000 and three pence including booking fee; postage fee; rip-off fee; super-rip-off fee and hand grenade. I now feel related to the voice on the phone – in fact we have a date next week. I didn't know where you wanted to be placed - first tier seated; second tier seated; third tier seated; floor area; belly flapper on the roof; vertical in the car park; top floor Scotswood Road tower block; British Internal Audit Company Head Office Kuala Lumpur or the Sellafield Nuclear Waste Plant. I made the assumption that you wanted to be in the closest proximity possible to Kelly Jones’ left buttock and so I have booked standing floor area where apparently you can get right at the front, achieving maximum view of his abundant Welsh nasal hair. It could have been worse. In return for the magnitude of this favour please redirect the next six months pay cheques to my rapidly dwindling bank account. In addition, you will now, without undue duress and forthwith:-
Wash my car inside and out with a loofah
Hoover the house top to bottom
Cut the hedge to root level
Lower the volume on your stereo to at least ten from its present aeroplane take-off equivalent.
Dave hates guitarists with high pitched, screeching tones louder than a vulture caught in a mangle, that can shatter a wine glass at 400 metres. At gigs with players like this, he’s had excellent feedback - mainly from the North East Glazing Company who are currently replacing all the windows in Horden Colliery's main street.
GIVES UNWANTED ADVICE TO BAND MEMBERS LIKE:
“The chord you are stuck on is H Sharp Diminished 9th with a tilde on the third demi-semi-hemi quaver just before that split beat where the tempo switches from 13/17 time to 5/9 time in between the bass drum beat and the eleventh accent. There's a subtle triple ratamacue by me as you guys accentuate the segued third pattern over the fifth movement (played fortissimo pizzicato (calzone & mushroom) emphasis of the hexidecibel eights. Watch out for that slow triple flam tap paraddiddle on the fourteenth. The last time I played such a sequence was in my rendition of the Birdie Song which I played on my solo tour of Afghanistan led by that terrorist, O'Cymbal Big Loud'Un, and I fell off my drum stool down the fire escape which happened to be open at the time and needed 13 stitches.”
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Website maintained by It's Great To be Rich, York. Page last updated 01 January 2019.